‘Tis the season of saying NO.

Ok ya’ll….The season of giving is upon us! I LOVE the holidays. Hold up a quick minute… do I REALLY???  I had to sit back this year and really think about that. Apparently, I loved this time of year because of parties, spiked egg nog, the excuse to drink all day and not feel like I might have a problem. All the while, it snowballed into these couple of months that all I seemed to do were the traditional/typical holiday stuff that some mysterious being in the universe had engrained in me that I had to do. My holiday season had become filled with excessive drinking, excessive spending, excessive decorating, wrapping, parties…It was chaos and overwhelming and basically turned into EXCESSIVE EVERYTHING!  I drove myself into a giant brick wall year after year.

Don’t get me wrong, I still intend to “give” this year but I fully intend to give to myself as well!! What a freaking concept, right?! This momma and SOBER AF lady is going to pamper herself with the holiday spirit and DO A LOT LESS- all the while NOT feeling guilty about it either. So, let my season of saying NO begin.

  1. I am not cooking on Thanksgiving. ToGo order from our country club, pick up @ 2pm on Thanksgiving day. Yes, please- where do I sign?! Thank you very much! I will not be soaking casserole dishes and filling up the dishwasher this year with fancy plates & such. Festive Thanksgiving paper plates will do! I might splurge and set up a little holiday table for the fam…we shall see what the day brings.
  2. No Christmas party at the house. I surrender, I can’t do it. It just makes me tired.
  3. NO HOLIDAY CARDS. Hallelujah! I used to think I loved sending out Christmas cards, maybe I did at one point, maybe someday I will? Not sure…But one thing I do know is that I am cutting that project out this year. So, no Christmas cards this year from the Horschel family! We still love you, we are thinking of you and wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, Happy Everything! You just won’t get a cute saying and pictures to hang up your fridge this year.
  4. This is not new to this year but definitely still a big NO on my list…I don’t put up my own tree or lights. I have an amazing friend who gave me the best gift ever a couple years ago by referring me to her “guy” who sets it all up and takes it all down. I will decorate with Skylar, and now Colbie, a little tree with their fun ornaments, put up my Christmas Santa Fairies around the house and suffocate Billy with 50 Christmas pillows on the couch – but other than that, see ya later lights, knots, bows, headaches, & arguments. Side note: Billy was looking at those projection lights for your house at Target the other day. You know, the ones with the penguins, candy canes, snow flakes….Ya’ll, DO THAT! Don’t get the ladder out and string a bunch of lights. Not necessary! Save a marriage, decorate less! 😉 (unless of course, that’s your thing- then you go do you!)

Last year I spent so much time saying I was going to watch Christmas movies, make cookies, etc. But as I look back, I realize that once I was done decorating, wrapping, and addressing Christmas cards, I never got around to doing any of the holiday stuff that was important to me! I barely remember sitting… I was still cooking and cleaning and over doing it all. I missed out on the relaxing and family time that I thought I loved so much about the holidays. So, I did start my Christmas movie watching early and I have already banged out about 5 so far. I do admit, my anxiety got the best of me for a minute thinking that I was going to run out of Christmas movies but then I started looking them up and had to laugh at myself…no chance, honey. AND STOP WORRYING about things I zero control over (and really don’t matter AT ALL!!) If you ever see me rolling my eyes, chances are it’s just me telling myself  to chill the “eff” out.  

The holidays are a scary, hectic time for healthy, sane people let alone, those among us battling addiction, depression, sobriety, life in general (ha).…So take care of yourself FIRST! Your family and friends will survive some store-bought goods, no holiday card, maybe a turkey breast instead of the whole damn turkey. I guarantee you, they will appreciate some one-on-one time, some cuddle time, seeing YOU relax and enjoying the holidays.

So, my gift to myself this year is to continue to remember it’s ok to say NO, to prioritze my family and my marriage first. Spend all the time I can creating memories while my kids still love the magic of the season and stop comparing myself to whatever the heck we are “suppose” to do. It sounds SO SIMPLE, but if you are anything like me, it’s REALLY HARD. Especially around the holidays when everything is so magnified. So, maybe just start with eliminating one thing that always has you feeling overwhelmed, keeps you from enjoying time with your family, or that you just think is absolutely ridiculous and you simply don’t feel like doing it this year.

Cheers to the beginning of a sober holiday season with a full bubbly glass of your favorite flavored sparkling water in one hand and maybe a hidden middle finger to your least favorite house guest on the other! A little attitude & humor to get us through the holidays is fine by me. Ching!


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First off, yes, I AM an alcoholic, sober since May 21, 2016. I am a mother of two daughters; Skylar Lillian: born September 16, 2014 and Colbie Rae: born April 12, 2017. I am married to Billy Horschel, a wonderful husband and father who also happens to play golf on an insanely good level. Years ago, I got lost in the fog of addiction and depression. Finding sobriety, this enlightening way of life, has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I had so many wine and vodka filled nights, watching TV shows, wishing I was like some random character on TV, wishing I could be brave, funny, artistic, poised, HAPPY, etc. And now, I'm doing it! I'm living honestly and freely and I want to share it all. I'm not perfect, I'm not an expert, all I know are my experiences and my learned knowledge. I am so excited to share my journey with you.

4 thoughts on “‘Tis the season of saying NO.

  1. Love this kick-off the holidays note! I will not be cooking this year either. We might be going out for Chinese 🙂 Kids are probably only getting gift cards under the tree, and you wont be getting a card from us because we are not sending! I appreciate hearing your thoughts and your well written words. I love this time of year, but it is truly overwhelming. Glad to know that I am not the only one skirting some of the unnecessary ‘duties’. I hope you have a Happy (relaxing) Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!!! xo

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