A “little” catch up

I recently did one of those “ask a question” things on Instagram to find out what you would like to hear from me since it has been months since I have written about anything. And a lot of you are just plain curious about the transition from two kiddos to three and what life has been like. So, I will just ramble a little about that today.

I don’t want to describe it as “surviving” because I’m doing much better than that, but I’ve definitely been burning the candle at both ends! Needless to say, it has been an exhausting past 7 months…(just as am I typing this up, I wonder why my thighs feel damp, look down, and I realize I forgot to add the bottles to the breast pump, so I am essentially pumping breast milk onto my leg). I apologize if that grosses you out, but other breast pumping mommas are cracking up, because they have been there! But this has been pretty typical of my brain lately! It’s one of those things where I feel like I forget so many things but I just have to keep reminding myself that the amount of the things I do remember FAR surpasses what I seem to be forgetting! I defintely make a lot more lists and notes than I used to!

I would have to say that one of the biggest changes has has been amount illnesses & care taking. Since Axel was born in February my little humans have helped me come closer to an accidental degree in nursing. 😉 Colbie (2 years old) had TWO!! cases of the flu (YESSSS, she had a flu shot, and, yes, she will get another one this season. I truly believe it helped keep her symptoms from getting too bad) and then she also got one the most frustrating kid’s diseases: hand, foot, & mouth! Ya’ll, there is NOTHING you can do to prevent this or treat this. AND it is contagious for almost a month. If that isn’t enough, the poor thing got blisters and sores in her mouth, all over her feet and hands and then her finger and toe nails fell off. It was so sad (and gross). Then, my four year old, Skylar, got tubes put in her ears and adenoids taken out to help her with her hearing and speech delay. Let me tell you, she milked that for all it was worth!  But by far, the scariest one was when lil baby Axel got the flu at about 7 weeks old. There were lots of tears! It has been REAL to say the least, but thankfully, everyone came out the other side stronger and are healthy and happy currently. (crossing my fingers and toes currently)

I probably “should have” put some pen to paper during all of this to share what was going on, but I don’t like to feel like I am whining. I don’t like to listen to it/read about it or do it myself. I don’t think it’s cute, and since my patience for it is so far in the negative- why the heck would I blog about all the blah blah blah mundane little whoas in my life?! So I just didn’t write about anything. Best solution? Probably not, but it was the cleanest one in my mind at the time to eliminate something that was causing a bit of stress- so I unapologetically went with that! 

On to the subject of help. I am lucky enough to have my mom live down the road and soon my in-laws will be too! So, I have a little family village along with wonderful girl friends who help me out. Nanny-wise, I do not have one and I do not have any plans of getting one right now. We had a family friend living with us for the past year who helped get me through the pregnancy and first few months with three babes. But now, I just don’t want one. Are there people who just don’t like it, where it just doesn’t work for them? If so, I think that might be me. Even though I still lose my temper, become irritated, and sometimes feel like my brain is going to explode from so much four year-old girl, mind-numbing chit chat- I am truly loving this current situation. I am enjoying my children and not viewing them as a job or a nuisance. Because they certainly ARE NOT! I am fortunate enough that my only job is to make sure that myself and my children enjoy each day, feel loved, and help mold them into the best humans they can be.  

I find I get very defensive about this subject because so many people have an opinion on what they think is right and what I need when it comes to taking care of my kids. I so strongly feel that every parent is different, each kid is different, and each situation is different. What is working for me today, might not work tomorrow, but it is working TODAY so back off! 😉 

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am very aware and capable of making any necessary changes to make sure I am taking care of myself and that I am happy. 🙂

I certainly don’t have some fool-proof recipe for raising three kiddos. I do feel Iike a key for me is ORGANIZATION. The more organized and prepared I am, the more flawlessly things go. It sounds simple and it is- I just have to do it. At the same time, I have no clue what this afternoon is going to entail with all three of them and our dog. All that I do know is that they will be happy, fed, rested and LOVED. I guess I kind of fly by the seat of my pants while having a car full of everything we need to survive for a month!

I try not to put pressure on myself to do some elaborate activity every day. We might just go outside with some bubbles, turn on some tunes and run around and dance. I am working on slowing down, enjoying life. Things don’t seem so dire when I am able to see the big picture. This is definitely a recurring theme in my life but keeps evolving, especially with a new baby in the mix. When I focus on diapers, bath time, dinner time, cleaning up, etc., I get overwhelmed and sucked up into the fog to-dos. I end taking so many deep breaths that my girls do it now too! But, in all seriousness, that really helps bring me back to reality, back to what is going on versus getting swept up in the anxiety of getting everything done. I want to create memories that my kiddos will look fondly back on. I don’t want to spend their childhood running around like a crazy lady trying to hold all the pieces together. I am really trying to reduce the amount of “pieces”. That is really what having a third child has made me focus on- simplifying and learning to enjoy each day for whatever it brings, counting my blessings and just living!

Dierks Bently

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First off, yes, I AM an alcoholic, sober since May 21, 2016. I am a mother of two daughters; Skylar Lillian: born September 16, 2014 and Colbie Rae: born April 12, 2017. I am married to Billy Horschel, a wonderful husband and father who also happens to play golf on an insanely good level. Years ago, I got lost in the fog of addiction and depression. Finding sobriety, this enlightening way of life, has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I had so many wine and vodka filled nights, watching TV shows, wishing I was like some random character on TV, wishing I could be brave, funny, artistic, poised, HAPPY, etc. And now, I'm doing it! I'm living honestly and freely and I want to share it all. I'm not perfect, I'm not an expert, all I know are my experiences and my learned knowledge. I am so excited to share my journey with you.

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